fallontonight:

Jimmy takes a look at celebrity Netflix queues and tries to match the movie titles to their famous identities!

penishole:

tobeymacguire:

when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex

I want to reblog this 100 times but I’ll just do it once

I wish you were in this room with me right now. I wish I could put my arms around you. I wish I could touch you.

houseofdawn:

Drake on his first time smoking weed (x)

inkimyewetrust:

Kanye West emoji emotions  

jesuschill:

*dies trying to hit the high notes in Chandelier*

You are a unique person and you have to be yourself. You can’t be anybody else; you can’t lead anybody else’s life. You have to be comfortable in your own skin and you have to be confident about who you are, whether you’re working at Twitter or running for office. And that is hard to do….and yet it’s all doable once you relax and decide, ‘You know what? This is no dress rehearsal. This is it for me. I want to be who I am.’ You be yourself. Easiest advice to say, hardest advice to follow.

tickatocka:

some fun sex tropes:

  • laughing during sex
  • and/or things going wrong during sex that leads to laughter
  • sex on a countertop/tabletop/sink because we couldn’t wait to get somewhere with cushions
  • kissing to stay quiet
  • biting to stay quiet
  • one person meticulously doing something entirely for the other’s benefit without expectation or need of reciprocation
  • "wow i did not know that was A Thing for me until right now and i’m totally fine with that but for the love of god keep doing it"
  • someone straddling the other while they’re “trying to read” and slowly getting them to put the book away
  • "you’re only allowed to sit there and watch until i tell you otherwise"
  • kissing anywhere but the lips
  • alternatively, touching anywhere but where the person desperately wants to be touched
  • "we couldn’t find a condom so we’re getting each other off in other ways" sex
  • anything involving the secretive brushing of fingertips against inner thighs in public spaces
  • sex with clothes half on/panties still on
  • the pleasant misuse of ties
  • sleepy morning kisses that accidentally turn intense

1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.

2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.

3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.

4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.

5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.

all my exes live in texas like im george straight or they go to georgia state where

technologyboymerangrmx:

tuitionishandledbysomeradomniggathatliveinatlantathatsheonlyseewhenshefeelsobligatedadmittedittomethefirsttimewedatedbutshewasnoangelandweneverwaiteditookherforsushishewantedtofucksowetookittogotoldthemdontevenplateitandwenevertalktoomuchafteriblewupjustonlyhelloorahappybelatedandithinkitextherandtoldherimadeitandthatswhenshetextmeandtoldmesheprayeditandthatswhenitextherandtoldheriloveherthenrightaftertextedandtoldherimfaded

M